ONTD FOOTBALL

OK, so I know hardly anyone will care, but after today's Europa League events I just can't shut up any longer.

Hi, remember us? We're Austria. We co-hosted the most exciting tournament of all time, EURO 2008.



The whole rest of Europe usually rejoice when they draw our national team or one of our clubs as an opponent in a competition because it usually means an easy win. Last time we qualified for a World Cup was 1998, and even though our team has been getting better and beat France and Romania in the ongoing qualifying campaign, we can only make it to South Africa if a) France lose to Faroe Islands, b) we then beat France a second time, and c) we then beat whoever we draw in the playoffs. Highly unlikely, of course.

Every once in a while, one of our clubs qualifies for the Champions League (though it hasn't happened in a while) and takes a few good beatings there. In recent years we didn't even manage to pull off any particularly good performances in the UEFA Cup. Which is why national TV didn't even bother to get the rights for the Europa League this year.

Right now, they are kicking themselves, because a while ago the unthinkable happened: all the four clubs from our league who were entitled to try qualified for Europe. You might have heard, it was the day Rapid Vienna kicked out Aston Villa. It was one of the best football nights I ever experienced in my life, and the euphoria since then has been quite unbelievable. People all over the country, regardless of club allegiance, flock to pubs where they can watch our teams play against some big-name clubs from countries like Spain, Italy and Germany. And so far, we haven't been disappointed. Only England and Spain have collected more points for the UEFA country ranking in the current European competitions. We collected more points than Germany, even though none of our clubs play in the Champions League.

( Presenting... the four teams nobody thought would be any threat )


This is Daniel Beichler, the 20-year-old local boy who just can't seem to stop scoring. He's an absolute delight to watch on the pitch, and I just hope with all my heart that no big European club snatches him away from us before he's had a chance to win a few long over-due trophies with the club.


OK, so that got a bit out of hand. Long story short: When Liverpool and England do well, I'm happy. But any small success for my country - even if it involves a club I despise domestically - just means the fucking world to me.

Thanks for reading if anyone made it through, and viva Europa League.