ontd_football | Joe Cole: A Re-Introductory Field Guide *

Despite what the evidence may suggest, he has not turned into a zombie.

Nor has he been unable to play due to a sudden case of giganticism.

Now he's back and ready to play ~~knock on wood.~~ Joey has kindly segmented his life into six different sections, so let's review where you may find the elusive Joe Cole.

Ads

Just because he can't play doesn't mean he can't model for Chelsea.

Sometimes he models, just because he knows he looks good modeling.

With Children

Not only does he pose with children, he donates to charity.

So everyone say "Awe!"

Is that Lampy's scarf he's been wearing?

In Sweaters

If you ever see someone wearing sweaters like this, there's a good chance it's Joe Cole.

Variant on the theme.

Warning, constantly wearing sweaters may make you tired.

Caught by stalkers

No he will not smile for the camera.

At best you'll get some side-eye. ~~If Carly's rock hasn't blinded you first~~

But he looks good, so don't stop your stalking.

Playing Fully Clothed

Just because he's wearing clothes doesn't mean you can't molest him with you eyes.

In fact, he seems to welcome it.

Their unibrows are bffs.

Shirtless and Proud of it

Things get better once the uniform comes off.

Add a child for extra cuteness.

Alternativly, add Lamps.

I'd like to thank the dedicated flickr user who composite this.

Along with a pictorial guide to removing your shirt for the gifted goal-scorer.

If you'd like to share any more pictures or gifs ~~and I know there are good gifs of him out there~~ please do.

Be sure to see him in action tomorrow where it's confirmed he'll be starting &hearts

Joe Cole: A Re-Introductory Field Guide *

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