Salvados por la Eurocopa
Sep. 3rd, 2008 09:50 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ontd_footballWell, here's the program I've talked about... I found it yesterday and in this program the reporter gives a camera to Xavi for film a "short subject" during the Euro08. Well, they don't show any of this "short subject" at the program (maybe Xavi or somebody removed it before give back the camera to the presenter), but I can't believe that Xavi didn't record anything (he stole a towel and a bottle of water, so I don't think he worried a lot about the rules of the hotel or whatever xDDD). Also, the presenter interviews Xavi and Iker.
I want you to consider that normally Spaniards don't act like "El Follonero" (the reporter of the program. A follonero is a person who cause a lot of problems, so you can imagine how is he)... xD
The program is cut in five parts:
1/5 Salvados por la Eurocopa II.
2/5 Salvados por la Eurocopa II.
3/5 Salvados por la Eurocopa II.
4/5 Salvados por la Eurocopa II.
5/5 Salvados por la Eurocopa II.
<EDITED>
The first vid:
00:00
[LAST WEEK]
El Follonero: How are you? Everything right? I want to ask you for a favour... I would want you to do little sign for the program, big one for the humanity... (To Sergio) I want you to keep very, very firm, looking at the sky... (To Puyol an Xavi) I want to see like you were dispersed, then you yaw an eye, and again focused: (to Puyol) you the right eye and (to Xavi) you the left.
Xavi: No, I want the right, too.
El Follonero: Both the right, ok... (To David) You sigh and (to Albiol) you smile. Smile, then serious and then smile again. Perfect!
[This was the challenge of El Follonero. Will they do it? We’re going to see in 3 seconds... 2... 1... Now!
A WEEK AFTER THAT
Spain vs. Russia. First match (4-0)]
In that point, El Follonero speaks with two football pundits. He asks them for help to get an interview with Aragonés and they both answer ironically, saying that the best way to get the interview is telling Luis a joke.
01:51
El Follonero: Hey, the players are in the pitch! I’ve never been so nervous just for a hymn.
[Pay attention. These are the images we saw in Spain. Camera’s coming nearly to players and when we expect to see Puyol... Suddenly we can’t see the players!!
“AND THEN THE PRODUCER CHANGED THE SHOT
El Follonero didn’t see if the players fulfilled his challenge (…) In the moment when camera was near of the defender of Barcelona, the producer decided to record a Spanish fan, which was in the stadium. Javier Salas. PÚBLICO”
“(A few days ago, El Follonero said some players to do a sign during the hymn.) Knowing that, the people of Cuatro [[the channel that relay the Euro, rival of laSexta, in the whole meaning of the word]] decided not to film players faces. EL PERIÓDICO”
Even newspapers realized!
But the rest of the world can see the images. This is what happened.]
Puyol thinking: Which eye? Right or left?
[Neither right nor left. Both! What a big guy! Villa doesn’t think about anything but score a goal. And Xavi...]
Xavi thinking: Puyol the left? Me the right?
[Xavi was confused. Let see Sergio Ramos... YEAH! He looked at the sky!]
El Follonero: Goal from Sergio Ramos!!! [[??? xDD]]
Then, el Follonero hitch-hikes and a few cars, including one from Cuatro, pass near to him. Finally, a caravan of Spanish fans stops and they go together to Innsbruck. They speak about how Heineken (the sponsor of the program) retired the money to it, as a result of the previous program, “Salvados... por la Iglesia” (“Saved... by the Catholic Church”) and the polemic it generated.
I love this part:
07:23
El Follonero: Why do you do this? I mean to disguise...
Boy: ‘Cause it’s the Spanish culture: to behave like we were mad...
</EDITED>
This is the second one:
<EDITED>
00:00
El Follonero and his friends (I guess they are the cameraman and an assistant) decided to write a message in the highway for Luis Aragonés...
00:26
Girl (I think ot's a girl but maybe not): Is forever with ‘b’ or ‘v’? [In Spanish, the pronunciation of both is the same]
Boy: Forever? With ‘v’, with ‘v’, shit!
They finally write the message.
01:26
[LUIS FOREVER]
The bus of the NT pass... And nothing happens. xD
Then, in Barcelona, El Follonero tries to ask to the king Juan Carlos I which team the queen prefer to win when Spain plays against Greece (she is Greek), but a mosso d’esquadra (special police from Catalonia) don’t let him. He asks for his documentary papers, but it’s clear that the mosso already knows him, because he says:
02:31
Mosso: Jordi, don’t you?
El Follonero: Yeah, I’m Jordi Évole.
Mosso: Do you can stay here a moment, please?
El Follonero: But... Right here? Right here quiet? I’m disarmed! I’m not dangerous! This is democracy, doesn’t it?
</EDITED>
4:38
[FACE TO FACE... Iker Casillas (Real Madrid) and Xavi Hernández (Barça).]
Voice-over: Wich Real Madrid player you admires most?
Xavi: Well... I admire two players: Casillas and Raúl.
VO: Barça?
Iker: Xavi.
VO: Do you imagine yourself wearing Real Madrid shirt?
Xavi: No, for nothing.
VO: Barça’s?
Iker: No.
VO: Complete the song: “De las glorias deportivas...” [Real Madrid’s hymn: “Of sportive glories...”]
Xavi: Yeah: “que campean por España” [“that plays around Spain...”]
VO: And this: “Tot el camp...”? [Barça’s hymn (in català): “All the stadium...”]
Iker: “és un clam...” [“is being an outcry...”]
VO: What do you like most of Real Madrid?
Xavi: Weeeell... The friends that I have inside... Nothing more... Everything else don’t... Don’t... Well, I don’t like anything more.
VO: And of Barça?
Iker: I don’t find anything, indeed... It’s so difficult say something.
VO: Against which club you play with the PS? **Note: I've translated it as "against" 'cause it's the only that make sense, and 'cause the question is a little ambiguous... If not, Iker playing with Barça?
Xavi: Actually I don’t play PS.
Iker: Barça.
VO: Who gain more money, Xavi or Iker?
Xavi: Iker, I’m sure... More... And for advertisement so much more...
Iker: I have no idea... But Xavi gains a lot, according to what he does. *laugh out loud*
VO: How much cars?
Xavi: Mine? One. But I have another one of the club.
Iker: Two.
VO: The last time you take the tube?
Xavi: Maybe ten years ago...
Iker: Last year... No, two years ago, in Sunlight City [[¿¿?? It sounds like Sunlight, but... Where is that?]], where there is a light rail very calm.
VO: Complete the phrase: “Uno...”
Xavi: “El brikindans...” *lol* ["Brikindans" it’s supposed to be Breaking dance. This is the Spanish song of Eurovision ’08, what start being a joke the program Buenafuente made to ridicule the contest “Salvemos Eurovisión” (“Let’s save Eurovision”) and finally was chosen by the tv spectators to represent us in Eurovision. xDD And became famous. Ah, El Follonero already starts in Buenafuente program... 8-)]
Iker: “El brikindans...”
VO: When you were younger, you like to see, which cartoons?
Xavi: Oliver y Benji (Captain Tsubasa), Banner y Flappy... Uy, a lot! Buah!
Iker: Mighty Mouse.
VO: Do you like Pressing Catch?
Xavi: When I was younger, yes... The weekends I became mad for it, but now I don’t see it.
Iker: No. I like it when I was younger, but now I know the trick, so it isn’t funny anymore.
VO: Is bind easiest being footballer?
Xavi: Yeah! No doubt.
Iker: Yes... But already when I went to school I bind with the most beautiful girls... xDDDDD
VO: You’re on the verge to shooting a penalty... If you scores, Spain wins Euro but you’ll be a year without any sex...
Xavi: SHIT!
VO: What do you do?
Xavi: *lmao*
<EDITED>
07:03
[A DEEP INTERVIEW WITH... MÍCHEL]
El Follonero: Today’s at “Deep interviews” we are with Míchel (González). Míchel: if Spain wins the Euro, should Luis Aragonés continue with the NT to the World Cup?
Míchel: Ehh... Will you show it on tv?
El Follonero: What?
Míchel: My answer.
El Follonero: Sure.
Míchel: ... [[They cut the answer. xDDD]]
</EDITED>
07:21
[GONE WITH THE XAVI
Chapter 1]
El Follonero: Here’s Spain, no Portugal. Es-pa-ña. Ok, ok, put off the shirt. Very good. Thank you so much... Turitutú... Can’t pass through there... Do you have a bubble gum? In Spain this never happens. In Spain, police, giving you a gum? Nah... In Spain... a por ellos [catch them all]. A por ellos, oe... XAVI!! I want you to do something, an experiment never seen before in the tv. It’s the first time.
Xavi: Is it emetic?
El Follonero: No, no, no... What about the hotel where you stay?
Xavi: Good...
El Follonero: Stars?
Xavi: Four stars, I think.
El Follonero: Well, you have to obtain for me a bottle of the mini bar...
Xavi: No! We have just water [[his face suddenly changes. xDD]].
El Follonero: Then a bottle of water of the mini bar and a towel... But the experiment doesn’t end at this... I see in you a great television producer...
Xavi: Really?
El Follonero: I’ve bring you something... I want you to record it.
Xavi: No... Shit...
El Follonero: I want you to record when you stole it from hotel.
Xavi: Ah! Just it? Shit, let me see... I’m very bad using this things... [[He says “hostia”, “shit”, commonly xD]]
El Follonero: This is very easy, it’s all automatic... The room, general shots, some details... Do it well! We don’t put on laSexta things without quality!
Xavi: I’ll try!
El Follonero: If you put on the porn channel, record it too!! For me!!
10:03
El Follonero: I’ve just ask Xavi to record a short subject... If you want a cameo role, you’re invited.
Fernando (the cameo): No, no, no, thanks a lot.
El Follonero: He’s the director! (To Sergio) Do you want to be in Xavi’s film?
Sergio (the nice): Of course.
Xabi Alonso (the handsome xD): Which role would you give me?
El Follonero: I want... you to be the handsome one.
Xabi Alonso (the handsome): Man! Thanks, thanks.
El Follonero: He’s going to do a short subject and also he’s the director.
Iniesta (the timid): I... No, no... We’re the actors, don’t we?
El Follonero: Yeah, you’re the actors. And he’ll lead you.
In the third part of the program, Xavi says that they don’t let him record, but he doesn't says who are they... And in the fourth, El Follonero goes to the hotel where the players stay during the Euro to meet Xavi... And he shouts and shouts his name, so a policeman comes angry with El Follonero, but finally Xavi leave the hotel and meets him.
<EDITED>
The third part:
00:38
El Follonero: Xavi! What? Is the film good?
Xavi: They don’t let me record [Who are they?? The players? Luis? Who?!]
[Let’s go with an exam...
"AUSTRIALOPITECUS"]
El Follonero: In Austria was founded the first newspaper in the world. It was 1705. Could you say the name of the newspaper?
Puyol (defender without eyes but with curls): Yeah, the ¿?, but it wasn’t founded in 1705. It was 1703. It’s a commonly fault of you journalists.
El Follonero: To not prepare our interviews?
Puyol: No, to confuse 1705 and 1703.
El Follonero: The biggest lake of Austria has 530 km2. Do you know its name?
Albiol (“central” of wisdom [In Spanish, “central” means mildfielder and also power station]): Well, I think you’re talking about Lake Constance, which has 536 km2, if I’m not wrong.
El Follonero: Not 530?
Albiol: No, I think you’re wrong. I think you don’t know so much about lakes, and about Austria, even less.
El Follonero: What Austrian director made the film “Metropolis” in 1923?
Puyol: Fritz Lang, but it wasn’t 1923. It was 1927. It’s a commonly fault of you journalists.
El Follonero: To confuse 1923 and 1927?
Puyol: No, to not prepare your interviews.
El Follonero: End the phrase: “Austria is a member of EU and also he is signatory of the pact...”
David (“goaler” with knowledge): Actually it wasn’t a pact. It was an agreement and it’s called Schengen Agreement.
El Follonero: I didn’t expect this from you...
Puyol: You must to go prepared to everywhere.
David: I like so much read Marca and AS... And a few others...
06:11
[A DEEP INTERVIEW WITH... MÍCHEL]
El Follonero: Today’s at “Deep interviews” we are with Míchel... Míchel, in the past, was player’s shorts more fit than now?
Míchel: It wasn’t, actually. See.
The fourth vid:
00:00
[El Follonero has just bought a universal remote control. What a danger! First try: people are seeing a football match of Austria, he turns off the tv and people protest. Normal. Second try: he turns off the tv and no reaction. How cold! Third try: El Follonero turns off tv; just some laugh and a technician on a stairs. No protests. What a calm people!!! What would happen in Spain?]
And then, el Follonero shouts for Luis. xDD
[Euro08 made money... Also in prostitution?]
03:25
He wants to know if the Spaniards, as lovers, get to the final... Or fall in quarters. She evades the question (xDDD)...
7:38
[GONE WITH THE XAVI
Chapter 2]
El Follonero: XAVI!!! XAVI!!!
Policeman: Shhh!
El Follonero: I’m meting Xavi here... No, they aren’t sleeping... "He -mm, mm- don’t sleep now". I’m waiting for him HERE... Hola, what’s wrong?
Policeman: Austrian Police... You have a problem.
El Follonero: We have a problem? No, come back here, come back. A moment, a moment. I’m meeting Xavi, Xavi Hernández. Do you know him? Fuck off! Xavi!! Sleeping? But it’s just 10!! [In Spain just children are sleeping at 10... Everybody goes to sleep at 11 or 12 at least] Shit! Luis! Luis Aragonés...
</EDITED>
In the fith part:
00:00
El Follonero: Xavi, Xavi, Xavi... Xavi!
Xavi: ¡Vamos, pollo! [C’mon, guy! Literally: C’mon, chicken! xD]
El Follonero: What’s on?
Xavi: You look like delinquents!
El Follonero: We are delinquents.
Xavi: Thank you... Look: camera here, and the water...
El Follonero: How much drunk I’ll be with this!
Xavi: What’s on? Don’t you have budget?
El Follonero: Gasteiner... No, we haven’t any budget.
Xavi: And the towel... It’s used, eh? *laughs*
El Follonero: It’s used?!
Xavi: Yeah...
El Follonero (mode fanboy on): Yeah, yeah, guy, it’s used!
Xavi: Well, I’m coming, ok? We can’t stay here at that hour... *innocent smile*
El Follonero: I’ve near to end in jail... El Míster [[the coach]] just walk forward.
Xavi: Yeah, but El Míster is the boss, so he decides about everything [[he means that Luis can do whatever he wants and whenever]]... but not about us... Do you want to enter? *laughs*
El Follonero: I love it, but I don’t think I can.
Xavi: They don’t let you to enter.
El Follonero: So why do you offer?
Xavi: To bother you! Well, I’m coming...
El Follonero: Shit, this is a stolen towel!
Xavi: It doesn’t mind...
El Follonero: We’ve just broken the laws in front of police. You should tell it to that policeman…
Xavi: They forgiven us everything... Look, this guy [the policeman], look, he’s a good friend.
El Follonero: Amigo. Hey, what’s on? I’m with Xavi, eh? You thought I was lying... Look: Xavi, Xavi and me, me and Xavi. And you there, behind the fence... Good luck!
Xavi: See you!
El Follonero: A por ellos.
[XAVI’S FILM (any similarity with reality is just a coincidence)]
Dear Jordi: Everything was prepared to film, the camera, the lights, the actors, Xabi Alonso, Iniesta, Torres, Sergio Ramos... But I can’t film here. Rights are rights. As God as my witness, you'll never be thirsty again! The End.
<EDITED>
[A DEEP INTERVIEW WITH... MÍCHEL]
El Follonero: Today’s at “Deep interviews” we are with Míchel... Míchel: End the phrase: “Míchel, Míchel, Míchel...” (like the song, I guess)
Míchel: Gay?
And finally, El Follonero has his interview with Luis Aragonés, ‘cause a brazilian girl pretend to be a sport reporter and she obtains a few minutes with the coach. And she expend this time giving Luis a cell... And El Follonero speaks like he was Brazilian. Luish? Luish?
</EDITED>
I'm pretty sure that this "film" was made by the own Follonero, anyways... But this made me remember another video: THIS... I was thinking that maybe Xavi was the person who recorded these images (with El Follonero's cam), 'cause at the beginning Villa shouts "¡¡Ponte de pie!! (Stand up!!)" and then Albiol (or maybe Arbeloa) "¡Enano! (Dwarf!)" and Xavi is one of the shorter players... Also, he appears in the video for just a moment (1:38) and it seems like he was holding the cam.
There's another program dedicated to Euro08 (the part I), but I don't find it in YouTube, it's only in miSexta (with better quaity).
If any of you want me to translate the rest (or a part), just ask me.EDITED: I've just added the rest of the program and I've translated ir. ^^
I want you to consider that normally Spaniards don't act like "El Follonero" (the reporter of the program. A follonero is a person who cause a lot of problems, so you can imagine how is he)... xD
The program is cut in five parts:
1/5 Salvados por la Eurocopa II.
2/5 Salvados por la Eurocopa II.
3/5 Salvados por la Eurocopa II.
4/5 Salvados por la Eurocopa II.
5/5 Salvados por la Eurocopa II.
<EDITED>
The first vid:
00:00
[LAST WEEK]
El Follonero: How are you? Everything right? I want to ask you for a favour... I would want you to do little sign for the program, big one for the humanity... (To Sergio) I want you to keep very, very firm, looking at the sky... (To Puyol an Xavi) I want to see like you were dispersed, then you yaw an eye, and again focused: (to Puyol) you the right eye and (to Xavi) you the left.
Xavi: No, I want the right, too.
El Follonero: Both the right, ok... (To David) You sigh and (to Albiol) you smile. Smile, then serious and then smile again. Perfect!
[This was the challenge of El Follonero. Will they do it? We’re going to see in 3 seconds... 2... 1... Now!
A WEEK AFTER THAT
Spain vs. Russia. First match (4-0)]
In that point, El Follonero speaks with two football pundits. He asks them for help to get an interview with Aragonés and they both answer ironically, saying that the best way to get the interview is telling Luis a joke.
01:51
El Follonero: Hey, the players are in the pitch! I’ve never been so nervous just for a hymn.
[Pay attention. These are the images we saw in Spain. Camera’s coming nearly to players and when we expect to see Puyol... Suddenly we can’t see the players!!
“AND THEN THE PRODUCER CHANGED THE SHOT
El Follonero didn’t see if the players fulfilled his challenge (…) In the moment when camera was near of the defender of Barcelona, the producer decided to record a Spanish fan, which was in the stadium. Javier Salas. PÚBLICO”
“(A few days ago, El Follonero said some players to do a sign during the hymn.) Knowing that, the people of Cuatro [[the channel that relay the Euro, rival of laSexta, in the whole meaning of the word]] decided not to film players faces. EL PERIÓDICO”
Even newspapers realized!
But the rest of the world can see the images. This is what happened.]
Puyol thinking: Which eye? Right or left?
[Neither right nor left. Both! What a big guy! Villa doesn’t think about anything but score a goal. And Xavi...]
Xavi thinking: Puyol the left? Me the right?
[Xavi was confused. Let see Sergio Ramos... YEAH! He looked at the sky!]
El Follonero: Goal from Sergio Ramos!!! [[??? xDD]]
Then, el Follonero hitch-hikes and a few cars, including one from Cuatro, pass near to him. Finally, a caravan of Spanish fans stops and they go together to Innsbruck. They speak about how Heineken (the sponsor of the program) retired the money to it, as a result of the previous program, “Salvados... por la Iglesia” (“Saved... by the Catholic Church”) and the polemic it generated.
I love this part:
07:23
El Follonero: Why do you do this? I mean to disguise...
Boy: ‘Cause it’s the Spanish culture: to behave like we were mad...
</EDITED>
This is the second one:
<EDITED>
00:00
El Follonero and his friends (I guess they are the cameraman and an assistant) decided to write a message in the highway for Luis Aragonés...
00:26
Girl (I think ot's a girl but maybe not): Is forever with ‘b’ or ‘v’? [In Spanish, the pronunciation of both is the same]
Boy: Forever? With ‘v’, with ‘v’, shit!
They finally write the message.
01:26
[LUIS FOREVER]
The bus of the NT pass... And nothing happens. xD
Then, in Barcelona, El Follonero tries to ask to the king Juan Carlos I which team the queen prefer to win when Spain plays against Greece (she is Greek), but a mosso d’esquadra (special police from Catalonia) don’t let him. He asks for his documentary papers, but it’s clear that the mosso already knows him, because he says:
02:31
Mosso: Jordi, don’t you?
El Follonero: Yeah, I’m Jordi Évole.
Mosso: Do you can stay here a moment, please?
El Follonero: But... Right here? Right here quiet? I’m disarmed! I’m not dangerous! This is democracy, doesn’t it?
</EDITED>
4:38
[FACE TO FACE... Iker Casillas (Real Madrid) and Xavi Hernández (Barça).]
Voice-over: Wich Real Madrid player you admires most?
Xavi: Well... I admire two players: Casillas and Raúl.
VO: Barça?
Iker: Xavi.
VO: Do you imagine yourself wearing Real Madrid shirt?
Xavi: No, for nothing.
VO: Barça’s?
Iker: No.
VO: Complete the song: “De las glorias deportivas...” [Real Madrid’s hymn: “Of sportive glories...”]
Xavi: Yeah: “que campean por España” [“that plays around Spain...”]
VO: And this: “Tot el camp...”? [Barça’s hymn (in català): “All the stadium...”]
Iker: “és un clam...” [“is being an outcry...”]
VO: What do you like most of Real Madrid?
Xavi: Weeeell... The friends that I have inside... Nothing more... Everything else don’t... Don’t... Well, I don’t like anything more.
VO: And of Barça?
Iker: I don’t find anything, indeed... It’s so difficult say something.
VO: Against which club you play with the PS? **Note: I've translated it as "against" 'cause it's the only that make sense, and 'cause the question is a little ambiguous... If not, Iker playing with Barça?
Xavi: Actually I don’t play PS.
Iker: Barça.
VO: Who gain more money, Xavi or Iker?
Xavi: Iker, I’m sure... More... And for advertisement so much more...
Iker: I have no idea... But Xavi gains a lot, according to what he does. *laugh out loud*
VO: How much cars?
Xavi: Mine? One. But I have another one of the club.
Iker: Two.
VO: The last time you take the tube?
Xavi: Maybe ten years ago...
Iker: Last year... No, two years ago, in Sunlight City [[¿¿?? It sounds like Sunlight, but... Where is that?]], where there is a light rail very calm.
VO: Complete the phrase: “Uno...”
Xavi: “El brikindans...” *lol* ["Brikindans" it’s supposed to be Breaking dance. This is the Spanish song of Eurovision ’08, what start being a joke the program Buenafuente made to ridicule the contest “Salvemos Eurovisión” (“Let’s save Eurovision”) and finally was chosen by the tv spectators to represent us in Eurovision. xDD And became famous. Ah, El Follonero already starts in Buenafuente program... 8-)]
Iker: “El brikindans...”
VO: When you were younger, you like to see, which cartoons?
Xavi: Oliver y Benji (Captain Tsubasa), Banner y Flappy... Uy, a lot! Buah!
Iker: Mighty Mouse.
VO: Do you like Pressing Catch?
Xavi: When I was younger, yes... The weekends I became mad for it, but now I don’t see it.
Iker: No. I like it when I was younger, but now I know the trick, so it isn’t funny anymore.
VO: Is bind easiest being footballer?
Xavi: Yeah! No doubt.
Iker: Yes... But already when I went to school I bind with the most beautiful girls... xDDDDD
VO: You’re on the verge to shooting a penalty... If you scores, Spain wins Euro but you’ll be a year without any sex...
Xavi: SHIT!
VO: What do you do?
Xavi: *lmao*
<EDITED>
07:03
[A DEEP INTERVIEW WITH... MÍCHEL]
El Follonero: Today’s at “Deep interviews” we are with Míchel (González). Míchel: if Spain wins the Euro, should Luis Aragonés continue with the NT to the World Cup?
Míchel: Ehh... Will you show it on tv?
El Follonero: What?
Míchel: My answer.
El Follonero: Sure.
Míchel: ... [[They cut the answer. xDDD]]
</EDITED>
07:21
[GONE WITH THE XAVI
Chapter 1]
El Follonero: Here’s Spain, no Portugal. Es-pa-ña. Ok, ok, put off the shirt. Very good. Thank you so much... Turitutú... Can’t pass through there... Do you have a bubble gum? In Spain this never happens. In Spain, police, giving you a gum? Nah... In Spain... a por ellos [catch them all]. A por ellos, oe... XAVI!! I want you to do something, an experiment never seen before in the tv. It’s the first time.
Xavi: Is it emetic?
El Follonero: No, no, no... What about the hotel where you stay?
Xavi: Good...
El Follonero: Stars?
Xavi: Four stars, I think.
El Follonero: Well, you have to obtain for me a bottle of the mini bar...
Xavi: No! We have just water [[his face suddenly changes. xDD]].
El Follonero: Then a bottle of water of the mini bar and a towel... But the experiment doesn’t end at this... I see in you a great television producer...
Xavi: Really?
El Follonero: I’ve bring you something... I want you to record it.
Xavi: No... Shit...
El Follonero: I want you to record when you stole it from hotel.
Xavi: Ah! Just it? Shit, let me see... I’m very bad using this things... [[He says “hostia”, “shit”, commonly xD]]
El Follonero: This is very easy, it’s all automatic... The room, general shots, some details... Do it well! We don’t put on laSexta things without quality!
Xavi: I’ll try!
El Follonero: If you put on the porn channel, record it too!! For me!!
10:03
El Follonero: I’ve just ask Xavi to record a short subject... If you want a cameo role, you’re invited.
Fernando (the cameo): No, no, no, thanks a lot.
El Follonero: He’s the director! (To Sergio) Do you want to be in Xavi’s film?
Sergio (the nice): Of course.
Xabi Alonso (the handsome xD): Which role would you give me?
El Follonero: I want... you to be the handsome one.
Xabi Alonso (the handsome): Man! Thanks, thanks.
El Follonero: He’s going to do a short subject and also he’s the director.
Iniesta (the timid): I... No, no... We’re the actors, don’t we?
El Follonero: Yeah, you’re the actors. And he’ll lead you.
<EDITED>
The third part:
00:38
El Follonero: Xavi! What? Is the film good?
Xavi: They don’t let me record [Who are they?? The players? Luis? Who?!]
[Let’s go with an exam...
"AUSTRIALOPITECUS"]
El Follonero: In Austria was founded the first newspaper in the world. It was 1705. Could you say the name of the newspaper?
Puyol (defender without eyes but with curls): Yeah, the ¿?, but it wasn’t founded in 1705. It was 1703. It’s a commonly fault of you journalists.
El Follonero: To not prepare our interviews?
Puyol: No, to confuse 1705 and 1703.
El Follonero: The biggest lake of Austria has 530 km2. Do you know its name?
Albiol (“central” of wisdom [In Spanish, “central” means mildfielder and also power station]): Well, I think you’re talking about Lake Constance, which has 536 km2, if I’m not wrong.
El Follonero: Not 530?
Albiol: No, I think you’re wrong. I think you don’t know so much about lakes, and about Austria, even less.
El Follonero: What Austrian director made the film “Metropolis” in 1923?
Puyol: Fritz Lang, but it wasn’t 1923. It was 1927. It’s a commonly fault of you journalists.
El Follonero: To confuse 1923 and 1927?
Puyol: No, to not prepare your interviews.
El Follonero: End the phrase: “Austria is a member of EU and also he is signatory of the pact...”
David (“goaler” with knowledge): Actually it wasn’t a pact. It was an agreement and it’s called Schengen Agreement.
El Follonero: I didn’t expect this from you...
Puyol: You must to go prepared to everywhere.
David: I like so much read Marca and AS... And a few others...
06:11
[A DEEP INTERVIEW WITH... MÍCHEL]
El Follonero: Today’s at “Deep interviews” we are with Míchel... Míchel, in the past, was player’s shorts more fit than now?
Míchel: It wasn’t, actually. See.
The fourth vid:
00:00
[El Follonero has just bought a universal remote control. What a danger! First try: people are seeing a football match of Austria, he turns off the tv and people protest. Normal. Second try: he turns off the tv and no reaction. How cold! Third try: El Follonero turns off tv; just some laugh and a technician on a stairs. No protests. What a calm people!!! What would happen in Spain?]
And then, el Follonero shouts for Luis. xDD
[Euro08 made money... Also in prostitution?]
03:25
He wants to know if the Spaniards, as lovers, get to the final... Or fall in quarters. She evades the question (xDDD)...
7:38
[GONE WITH THE XAVI
Chapter 2]
El Follonero: XAVI!!! XAVI!!!
Policeman: Shhh!
El Follonero: I’m meting Xavi here... No, they aren’t sleeping... "He -mm, mm- don’t sleep now". I’m waiting for him HERE... Hola, what’s wrong?
Policeman: Austrian Police... You have a problem.
El Follonero: We have a problem? No, come back here, come back. A moment, a moment. I’m meeting Xavi, Xavi Hernández. Do you know him? Fuck off! Xavi!! Sleeping? But it’s just 10!! [In Spain just children are sleeping at 10... Everybody goes to sleep at 11 or 12 at least] Shit! Luis! Luis Aragonés...
</EDITED>
In the fith part:
00:00
El Follonero: Xavi, Xavi, Xavi... Xavi!
Xavi: ¡Vamos, pollo! [C’mon, guy! Literally: C’mon, chicken! xD]
El Follonero: What’s on?
Xavi: You look like delinquents!
El Follonero: We are delinquents.
Xavi: Thank you... Look: camera here, and the water...
El Follonero: How much drunk I’ll be with this!
Xavi: What’s on? Don’t you have budget?
El Follonero: Gasteiner... No, we haven’t any budget.
Xavi: And the towel... It’s used, eh? *laughs*
El Follonero: It’s used?!
Xavi: Yeah...
El Follonero (mode fanboy on): Yeah, yeah, guy, it’s used!
Xavi: Well, I’m coming, ok? We can’t stay here at that hour... *innocent smile*
El Follonero: I’ve near to end in jail... El Míster [[the coach]] just walk forward.
Xavi: Yeah, but El Míster is the boss, so he decides about everything [[he means that Luis can do whatever he wants and whenever]]... but not about us... Do you want to enter? *laughs*
El Follonero: I love it, but I don’t think I can.
Xavi: They don’t let you to enter.
El Follonero: So why do you offer?
Xavi: To bother you! Well, I’m coming...
El Follonero: Shit, this is a stolen towel!
Xavi: It doesn’t mind...
El Follonero: We’ve just broken the laws in front of police. You should tell it to that policeman…
Xavi: They forgiven us everything... Look, this guy [the policeman], look, he’s a good friend.
El Follonero: Amigo. Hey, what’s on? I’m with Xavi, eh? You thought I was lying... Look: Xavi, Xavi and me, me and Xavi. And you there, behind the fence... Good luck!
Xavi: See you!
El Follonero: A por ellos.
[XAVI’S FILM (any similarity with reality is just a coincidence)]
Dear Jordi: Everything was prepared to film, the camera, the lights, the actors, Xabi Alonso, Iniesta, Torres, Sergio Ramos... But I can’t film here. Rights are rights. As God as my witness, you'll never be thirsty again! The End.
<EDITED>
[A DEEP INTERVIEW WITH... MÍCHEL]
El Follonero: Today’s at “Deep interviews” we are with Míchel... Míchel: End the phrase: “Míchel, Míchel, Míchel...” (like the song, I guess)
Míchel: Gay?
And finally, El Follonero has his interview with Luis Aragonés, ‘cause a brazilian girl pretend to be a sport reporter and she obtains a few minutes with the coach. And she expend this time giving Luis a cell... And El Follonero speaks like he was Brazilian. Luish? Luish?
</EDITED>
I'm pretty sure that this "film" was made by the own Follonero, anyways... But this made me remember another video: THIS... I was thinking that maybe Xavi was the person who recorded these images (with El Follonero's cam), 'cause at the beginning Villa shouts "¡¡Ponte de pie!! (Stand up!!)" and then Albiol (or maybe Arbeloa) "¡Enano! (Dwarf!)" and Xavi is one of the shorter players... Also, he appears in the video for just a moment (1:38) and it seems like he was holding the cam.
There's another program dedicated to Euro08 (the part I), but I don't find it in YouTube, it's only in miSexta (with better quaity).
If any of you want me to translate the rest (or a part), just ask me.EDITED: I've just added the rest of the program and I've translated ir. ^^
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2008-09-03 08:42 pm (UTC)I'm so downloading these videos because El Follonero/Buenafuente is/are HILARIOUS. I was only able to watch Buenafuente's show a couple times because he's on SO LATE and I had to go to bed. =P
Xavi...is all the love I could possibly have in the world. Right now, I think he's the reason I'm still single. XD
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Date: 2008-09-03 08:57 pm (UTC)And this video:
Con esto la gente se terminará de enamorar. xD
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Date: 2008-09-03 09:01 pm (UTC)Oh man. I ♥ Spanish humor. Much better than American humor, which is the lamest crap ever. Boo.
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Date: 2008-09-03 09:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-03 09:12 pm (UTC)Ay, cuánto echo de menos a España. ;_______________;
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Date: 2008-09-03 09:17 pm (UTC)De Cuatro lo mejor es Noche H sin duda. ^^ Y los deportes (básicamente porque compraron los derechos de la Euro). xD
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Date: 2008-09-03 09:29 pm (UTC)No sé si he visto Noche H. ¿Es nuevo? Es que sólo estuve en España desde enero hasta junio, y las cuatro semanas entre el 17 de mayo y el 17 de junio casi no veía nada la tele. :(
La Euro en Cuatro...mola más que la vida misma, te lo juro. XD
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Date: 2008-09-03 09:36 pm (UTC)Y Noche H es a viejillo, lo que pasa que lo daban tarde, pero mira, aquí tienes una prueba de cómo es: http://www.cuatro.com/videos/index.html?xref=20080604ctoultpro_14.Ves&view=ver
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Date: 2008-09-03 09:40 pm (UTC)Ah, ya entiendo. Es que como tenía que irme a clases por la mañana no solía ver los programas después de las 12. =P
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Date: 2009-07-05 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-03 11:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-03 11:25 pm (UTC)Pssssht. Too bad for you that you can't speak Spanish, because this whole thing is COMEDY GOLD. Love it.
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Date: 2008-09-04 12:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-04 12:04 am (UTC)LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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Date: 2008-09-04 12:16 am (UTC)what do they mean when they say "bind"?
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Date: 2008-09-04 10:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-04 03:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-04 12:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-04 11:00 am (UTC)he's like "I'm just gunna lean here looking like the embodiment of cool"
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Date: 2008-09-04 10:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-04 08:51 pm (UTC)"If any of you want me to translate the rest (or a part), just ask me." - why do you even ask :] ? making people laugh is pure gold!
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Date: 2008-09-05 12:57 am (UTC)I've just realized I wrote couch instead coach. xDDDD I guess I have a lot of these mistakes. And more.
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Date: 2009-07-05 07:44 pm (UTC)i found the first one but i cant find the other 4:( is there anywhere else i can look for them?
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Date: 2009-07-05 10:59 pm (UTC)http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/entertainment/watch/v14262507M3dHpBxa <-- That's the first part. This is not the one I translated. At that moment I didn't notice there was a very first part of the program, which was broadcasted in 09 June, but I can try to translate it if you don't understand something. ^^
http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/entertainment/watch/v14263450CrHDMSCB <-- That's the last part, broadcasted in 16 June. It's what I translated, but in just one video. *O*
And recently I found this on YouTube:
That's the part of the "Face to face" with Iker and Xavi, but longer and with the answers complete. ^^
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Date: 2009-07-05 11:29 pm (UTC)and ty for the other ones:D
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Date: 2009-07-07 03:56 pm (UTC)VO: You’re on the verge to shooting a penalty... If you score, Spain wins Euro but you’ll be a year without any sex...
Xavi: SHIT!
VO: What do you do?
Xavi: Oh, man, I'll score for sure.
Iker: We have to score whatever it takes... xDD
VO: How many times do you make love in a concentration?
Xavi: None.
Iker: It's so difficult to make love in a concentration... Unless you do with the cleaning staff or something. [? I'm not sure if the translation is right, but I think it's understandable. xD]
VO: Who's the player that snores the most?
Xavi: Uy, I don't know 'cause we have individual rooms so we sleep alone.
Iker: Probably me. [xDDD]
VO: You, the players, shower all in the same place... Who's the Selección's "Nacho Vidal"? [*Nacho Vidal is a famous Spanish porn star... xDD]
Xavi: Shiiiit! I dunno that... I dunno, you know, I don't pay so much attention either. [xDD]
Iker: We all...
VO: Will you let your girlfriend to come into the changing room after a match?
Xavi: Yeeeah. I trust her.
Iker: Yeah, we trust each other.
VO: Have you ever stolen a towel during a concentration of La Selección?
Xavi: No indeed...
Iker: Not during a concentration, but when I was younger, yes.
VO: Do any Selección players smoke?
Xavi: No. At least in the concentrations I'm sure they don't.
Iker: No... But if any of them smokes... He hides so well because we never had notice.
VO: Why do the footballers spit all the time and the tennis players don't?
Xavi: Well, I don't know. Maybe it's a habit just from footballers. We as well do this gesture... It's a bit rude...
Iker: ...Because we all are bad-mannered? We are a little rude.
VO: If you weren't a footballer, you would be...
Xavi: I would study something related to sports... Something like INEF [Ciencias de la Actividad Física y el Deporte, I dunno how it's in English :S].
Iker: Policeman.
VO: Which is the topical expression from football world that you hate most?
Xavi: I don't know, something like "football is football", which means nothing. Or "football is this way"...
Iker: I hate the "[Gol por] el palo corto, siempre es culpa del portero" [It means something like the goal in which the ball enters near to the "short post", it's allways keeper fault. The "short post" is, in free kicks, the post which is nearest to the point where the other player shoots... I dunno if I've explained it well. >.<]
VO: Which tracksuit you prefer? Fidel [Castro] or Luis Aragonés'?
Xavi: Man, the one of Luis is more Spanish...
Iker: Luis Aragonés, I see it more.
VO: Complete: Luis Aragonés is...
Xavi: A phenomenom.
Iker: A wise man.
VO: If it was possible to change the Spanish anthem, which one would you choose?
Xavi: Something funny, like Chiquilicuatre's... xDD
Iker: Manolo Escobar's... "Viva España". X__________D
VO: Complete: If I win the Euro, I'm gonna...
Xavi: Do some crazyness... Shave my head or dye it...
Iker: Go on holiday... To have some fun. xDD
VO: Do you think Spain will win the Euro?
Xavi: We have a good chance.
Iker: Mm, I dunno...
[Oh, I thought it was shorter. xDDD It took me so long 'cause yesterday I was on the beach all day (*OOOO*) and I just started a while ago. But I like so much to translate things (I dunno why, I guess it helps me with my English, and I feel helpful <333).]
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Date: 2009-07-19 10:37 pm (UTC)Mucho graciass!!! :D