ontd_football | You can buy your hair if it won't grow. (Reply)

(title because Torres cutting his hair = the ultimate Samson act. And because our owner buys stuff without much regard to the consequences. And because Rachel and Quinn duet this song in the upcoming episode of Glee and it's amaze.)

HIYA. This little known thing called "Fernando Torres actually doing what a striker ought to do and scoring for Chelsea at long last" happened today! And it happened in the London derby between Chelsea and West Ham, the clash of the rah West Londoners and the East Enders. Ancelotti went with the three-prong attack that served him so well in the 3-1 wins over Birmingham and West Brom (I saw neither match against the two Midland teams; was watching the NLD when the Chels-Birmingham match occured and was in Liverpool actually in the Everton-Blackburn game during the West Brom-Chels match, otherwise, I would have done a spam for it. I don't like to spam for matches I ain't seen cos I feel like a bad bung) meaning that Torres was benched and the Malouda/Drogba/Kalou attack started. However, it took time for Chelsea to find their feet, as West Ham, rock bottom of the premier league, were playing for their survival. And they did a pretty damn decent job of it, but were no match for Ashley Cole (best LB in the world, I know I remind you every time I do a fracking picspam but don't you bloody forget it. :p) gave a peach of a cross to Frankie Lamps, who scored aptly. Then the second half. Drogba came off for Torres (and didn't look happy about it, le sigh), and Torres looked as thirsty as the Stamford Bridge pitch looked wet. He bloody wanted it, perhaps galvanized by some shitty journalism that has been written about him in the past week, so much so that, when he missed the ball a first time in the penalty area, he doubled back, and zinged in the ball. It was the tightest of shots and just went into the net, but OH LORD IT WERE BEAUTIFUL. Florent Malouda bunged in a lush third to add gloss to the scoreline, but tbh, this was Torres' moment. Good things come to those who wait, and whilst the premier league is probably realistically out of our hands, it was brilliant, bloody brilliant, to see Torres score a goal for us, and the manpile that all the Chelseabung players pile drived on him, showed that we all wanted it as much as he did. GOOD BUNG.

Formation wise, West Ham matched our 4-3-3 with a 4-3-3 of their own.

Wayne Bridge and John Terry politely ignoring each other pre-match. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you what this is about. :p Wayne Bridge had a shocker today, cue puns about him playing badly on a Saturday, poor Frankie Sandford ;)

I know this is for the banter, but still. Oddly prophetic. ;)

Adorable, flawless qt Chelsea fans in flawless Chelsea raincoats.

Drogba did some good work and Ashley did amaze to cross for Frank for the first goal (up until which the match had been fairly even).

Torres not only scored...

... but assisted Malouda on his!

Malouda's really coming into form for Chels these past few weeks! He netted two against Birmingham (the other goal in that game from Chelsea came from Sala Kalou, who has an almost identical haircut to Malouda, lol), as well as getting the winner against Wigan. He was also one of the few Chelsea players to emerged with credit against Man United. I'm impressed with the Frenchman!

It will take a bloody long time for me to warm to him, but that smile! =)

Franknando <3 As you can see from their hair, it was bloody raining during the match!! Which was proper crazy cos London in the afternoon was LUSH, I chilled in St James' Park and the sun was proper blazing! Bloody volatile British weather , innit!

It was one of the most emphatic team celebrations I've ever seen!!

CHELSEABUNG IS ALL IN

GIFS GIFS GIFS

Seriously, seeing how all of our team ran up to Torres and celebrated with him absolutely warmed my heart. I believe no one wanted it more than him, but obviously we were all willing him, so hard. So glad he finally broke his duck! <3

Celebrate good times, come on!

The three scorers - Frank, Fernando & Florent!!~~

Torres post-match

idk how I feel about West ham. After today's thrashing they have got to be favourites to go down. I <3 lots of their players, not least Scotty Parker and Mark Noble. But... their fans sing songs about Frank Lampard's mum and that is the lowest of lows for me. I generally don't like to gloat when big, well-supported clubs get relegated, but how could they be so heartless? D:

Right, I previously mentioned "shitty journalism" that had emerged this week about Torres. tbh, shite writing is ten a penny where football is concerned, but this one really got my goat, because it's from The Guardian, an actual reputable source:

Fernando Torres may have cost Chelsea the title as well as £50m
Chelsea look listless with the Spanish striker but have renewed vigour with Didier Drogba leading the attack
It is a little peculiar that the re-emergence of Chelsea as challengers for the Premier League should come as a surprise. Considering that the club completed the Double last season, their abilities ought not to have been overlooked. The players, however, had sent themselves into the shadows and in February, in Fernando Torres's first two games for the club, a home defeat by Liverpool was followed by a goalless draw at Fulham. Chelsea gave every impression of being a jaded side and, even now, the necessity of rejuvenating the squad is obvious.
The immediate challenge, however, is merely for the current footballers to sustain their impact for a few more weeks. It ought to help that Chelsea have shed their distractions by, for the moment, bundling Torres out of the way. Without a goal the Spaniard becomes a vast distraction because of the huge transfer fee, £50m. His arrival has had an impact on others in the team: with Torres on the pitch Chelsea have scored a goal every 91 minutes, without him in the same period they have scored one every 52 minutes.
When the club persevered with the striker, there was an immediate assumption that he continued in the line-up on the orders of the club's owner, Roman Abramovich. The exact truth of that was of less importance than the implication that the manager, Carlo Ancelotti, is a mere cipher in Chelsea affairs.
Torres did see out the first leg of the Champions League quarter-final, when they were beaten at home by Manchester United, and was on the field at kick-off for the defeat in the return at Old Trafford. However, the striker has seen only 31 minutes of action since then, with two outings as a substitute. There are larger issues in connection with Torres, since he was hardly being plied with chances.
Chelsea function best with one central striker and the 33-year-old Didier Drogba has relished the prominence. Sceptics argue that he can disrupt his own club as severely as the opposition but the impact is great now and that is all that will concern his employers in the next few weeks. While a few key players show signs of wear and tear, with goals a little more elusive for Frank Lampard, a concerted impact has been achieved and the side's form is superior to that of those around them.
Chelsea have taken 16 points from their past half-dozen League games. The comparable figure for the leaders Manchester United is 10. Arsenal's long, unbeaten run in the league has too often involved deadlock and the five draws of late that accompany a win at Blackpool suggest diminishing hopes.
Arsène Wenger tried to pardon the decline from a 3-1 lead to a 3-3 draw at Tottenham Hotspur on Wednesday on the basis that his opponents had been fresher after a free weekend. Whatever the validity of that specific argument, it is his inclination, in public at least, to sprinkle excuses and identify mitigating factors when a game goes wrong. Wenger's faith in his sides may help them find the confidence to play attractive football but the resilience of old must go on being elusive when the defensive midfielders interpret their duties loosely and leave the much-maligned centre-backs with too little cover.
This is a campaign in which flaws account for the fascination. Should Manchester United take the title they will be the champions with the worst away record since the formation of the Premier League. Given the silverware, Sir Alex Ferguson will probably bear up to such slights without any trouble. There is, however, just a suggestion that United may falter.
On Tuesday the draw at Newcastle United was acceptable to the visitors but the lack of goals, and chances in general, was disturbing. Ferguson had picked two forwards, in Wayne Rooney and Javier Hernández exactly because he expected opportunities. Instead United became the first visitors unable to score at St James' Park since West Ham on 5 January.
That statistic corroborated an impression of listlessness. United are stretched, too, by Champions League semi-final commitments and they travel to meet a lively Schalke line-up on Tuesday. Even so, Ferguson's side, with that six-point lead in the Premier League, can still feel in command. The arrival of Chelsea at Old Trafford will be treated as a fine opportunity to shake off pursuers, assuming that Ancelotti's men have not fallen back before that.
It is true that the venture to the Emirates is yet to be negotiated but United's record there is good and, in any case, a loss could be bearable. Ferguson does need to accelerate the redevelopment of his line-up but securing the championship would ensure that it is conducted in a tranquil atmosphere.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2011/apr/21/chelsea-fernando-torres

Pardon my French, but, ballacks. Pure ballacks. We were fourth/fifth and struggling for a CL slot when Torres joined. Now we're second. It's been , in most cases, in spite of Torres rather than because of him, but to suggest his joining Chelsea will deprive us a title is a joke. We let ourselves down in our mid-season slump. I usually bum Kev McCarra but this article is ballacks and he needs to train.

Some cutesy Chelsea fraternity:

Didier Drogba delighted after Fernando Torres opens Chelsea account:
I was in the changing rooms but just wanted to run and jump as well
The Ivorian powerhouse admits that it was always going to be 'difficult to come in in February and get used to the team' but insists his side have signed a 'great player'
By Richard Parry

Chelsea striker Didier Drogba insisted that he was delighted after Fernando Torres opened his goalscoring account, following a run of 14 games without a goal. With reports circulating that the Ivorian forward was disgruntled following the signing of the Blues' £50 million striker, Drogba revealed that he wanted to join in with his team-mates celebrations after the Spaniard scored the second of Chelsea's three goals in a victory over West Ham.

"I was in the changing rooms but just wanted to run and jump as well," he told ESPN. "We know we have a great player here." "It is very difficult to come in in February and get used to the team. It is important for him and for the club that he is here since January and I think it will all be fantastic for him." Chelsea's victory came after Manchester United extended their lead at the top of the table following their win over Everton at Old Trafford.

And Drogba conceded that, for the moment, his side needs to focus on claiming second place in the league, while admitting that they knew West Ham posed a difficult challenge despite finding themselves at the bottom of the table before kick-off, following Wolves' 1-1 draw with Fulham. "It is always difficult to play against them[West Ham] and of course the weather was not great for playing football but the most important thing was to win as well as the three points.

"They [Manchester United] got a 1-0 win. I think at the moment we have to focus on the second place and going ahead of Arsenal, that is the first step, so we will see what happens in the next few games."
http://www.goal.com/en-gb/news/2896/premier-league/2011/04/23/2455295/didier-drogba-delighted-after-fernando-torres-opens-chelsea

Anyway, onwards to another feisty London derby next Saturday!! BRING IT SPUDS.