Said & Done - David Hills

[miselemeas.livejournal.com]

Anyone ever read The Guardian's column out weekly by David Hills? I thought people would enjoy reading the vast hypocrisy in football in today's piece.

Change we can believe in

• February: Qatari Fifa executive Mohamed Bin Hammam says he'll block Sepp Blatter's bid for a fourth term in the 2011 elections: "The time has come. Fifa needs an Asian president."
• May: Sepp publicly backs Qatar's 2022 World Cup bid. "I strongly feel the World Cup should come to Qatar!"
• August: Bin Hammam says Sepp deserves a fourth term. "Let me be very clear. I will be backing Sepp Blatter to remain in office. He is my very good friend!"' (Sepp says claims of a deal are malicious. "I have most certainly not made any sort of deal with Qatar. How could I? As president of Fifa I would never misuse my office!")

One to watch

Next for Bin Hammam instead of a run at Fifa's top job: "My aim is to run for re-election as Asian Football Confederation president in 2011. I hope I will have the full confidence of all the national associations". Bin Hammam's previous best election – last year, winning a seat on the Fifa executive board, then refusing calls for an inquiry into alleged "gross corruption" during the campaign. "It's time to move on! Turn the page. The past is the past, it's better that way."

Meanwhile...

New from Fifa's ethics board last week: a "full investigation" into allegations of player and staff abuse by North Korea after the World Cup. Fifa's method: asking North Korea if they abused their players and staff. The result: "North Korea assure Fifa that the reports were baseless ... Fifa has decided to close the matter."

• And finally: finance news – £40.6m: Expenses paid to Fifa staff last year, up 20% year on year as the number of employees rose to 361. The new average Fifa staff salary including benefits: £112,800.

Number crunching

• £142m: The new annual "solidarity package" paid to Football League clubs – a record redistribution deal. "Premier League clubs take their responsibility for all levels of the game very seriously."
• £130m: Man City's spending on transfer fees this summer, not including wages. City's Brian Marwood says criticism is "laughable". "People don't know the facts. This club needed the investment."

Transfer latest

• Man of the week

21 Aug, Emmanuel Adebayor: "I am very happy to be part of this club. I know there are a lot of things being written that I will be leaving, but I am not. I love it at Manchester City."
27 Aug: "If a team comes in for me, I will leave. I must fight for myself."

• Most professional

23 Aug, Asmir Begovic, Stoke: "If a bid for me is accepted, that's a different story, but in the meantime I just have to get on with my job. Speculation is part and parcel of being a footballer. There's lots of talk, but at the end of the day you come to work and do your job."
24 Aug, Tony Pulis: "He said this morning he didn't want to play for us in the cup. I find that desperately disrespectful."

• Most convincing

16 Aug, Barcelona director Andoni Zubizarreta: "There is nothing with Mascherano. In fact, he is a player who does not fit into our plans. He is a great player but there is nothing going on."
27 Aug: Signs him.

• And the saddest ending

Loïc Rémy, 24 March: "Arsenal are the club I want to join. I won't deny it. I love to watch them play. It is the ideal place for me. I've been an Arsenal fan since I was little."
12 July: "When a club like West Ham is on the cards, it's always exciting. I dream of playing in England."
15 July: "I would like to sign for a prestige club like Liverpool. I want to go to England."
9 August: "Stoke is not a move that I want. But a move to Tottenham is very interesting. I just want to go to England."
20 August: Joins Marseille

Coach of the week

Diego Umana, coach of Colombian side Atlético Júnior – says he's bought a breathalyser to use on his players before training sessions after the press caught three first-teamers "wasted". "This is an ugly business," says Umana. Rival club Once Caldas introduced breath tests in May plus "nightly inspections of players". "We will expose them," said a club source. "Some footballers are no good."

And finally

New from model Larissa Riquelme, still building on a "strong World Cup": a "full 3D" spread in Brazilian Playboy. "The flat me you already know, now get ready for the full me! I'm really up for this one." Riquelme said publicity around the World Cup has made her complete. "Football has changed my life. I like being famous!"

The Guardian