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Premier League

Featured Matches
Manchester United 1 - 1 Arsenal

Mata scored!

Super Mata! I have no truck with Man United, but I do like a few of their players. Mata and Herrera are two of them

Manchester dropped two points today, Arsenal got lucky
Crystal Palace 1- 2 Man City

Yaya, Yaya Tore. Yaya Tore, Yayayaya Tore- got a start and a brace!

I don't think Toure's manager apologised, but ehhh, Toure looked refreshed and dangerous. Haven't seen such a muscular performance from him in such a long time
Southampton 0 - 0 Liverpool

Liverpool had lots of good chances, but fair play to Soton, their midfield and defence were muscular

Dan Dijk was shutting down attacks left and right. My MOTM

Roberto's teeth are so white!

Charlie Austin is a tidy player but has no pace
Everton 1- 1 Swansea

Everton denied Swansea a win

In the dying minutes of the game

Swansea's goal was a penalty by Siggourdson
Tottenham Hotspur 3- 2 West Ham United

Hmmmm this match. Here be the highlights. Harry Kane got two goals (one open, one pen) with two assists from Sonny

Harry Winks, another Tottenham Hotspur academy grad got his first start today, scored his first goal, was one of the better players on the pitch by a long chalk

The club wished him good luck, but he was prepared, trust me

Everyone celebrated his goal. I mourn that he didn't take 40 as a shirt number. No bueno, Winks. No bueno

West Ham played a pretty muscular game, and Spurs were all over the shop, setting up in a 4-4-2. Okkkayyyy Poch. But it was a barnstormer of a game down to the last minute
Bundesliga

Borussia Dortmund 1- 0 Bayern München

Aubamayeng nicked the goal

Keep flashing them tits at Real Madrid, mate

An attempt at a bicycle kick

Whoa. This
La Liga

Deportivo La Coruna 2- 3 Sevilla
Barcelona 0- 0 Malaga

Messi was absent.

The match was so bad, there aren't many good pics on twitter
Atletico Madrid 0- 3 Real Madrid

Welp at the score

Ronaldo did a hat trick and all the photos are of him posing to an obscene degree. No one needs to see that, so we move on

Like, for real?
Serie A

Juventus 3- 0 Pescara

Someone is head over heels
OP: done! You know the drill! Cheers, jeers, corrections and commentary pushback, holla!