Breakthrough star of the season? Hector Bellerin, called up to the first team after catastrophic injury crisis at Arsenal. Xavi promptly insists Barca DNA is the cause, as he pleads with his Catalan brother to return to the bosom of the Greatest Club in the World. Hector-gate ensues.
First manager to be sacked? Kenny
Most interesting use of mind games? Wenger. Obvs.
Team with the most yellow cards? Arsenal
Team with the most red cards? Arsenal - mass sending off after an on field brawl with Swansea. We throw away 5 - 0 lead since every Arsenal player is thrown off the pitch. Except our emergency keeper: Pat Rice. He is not particularly effective.
Team who misses the most penalties? Arsenal
Team who gets the most Fergie extra time? Liverpool
Best commentator? One of the crazy Arab ones who get far, far too excited
Worst commentator? Ray Wilkins
Catchphrase of the season? 'mental strength' - Arsenal Wenger esq.
Biggest scandal? Pizza-gate mk.II - the jalapeno edition.
Biggest non-story? Everyone in the prem to City
Best celebration? Arsenal, when we win the quadruple and parade the streets of North London.
Most shocking transfer? Suarez to Chelsea
Giant killer of the season? Arsenal
Most interesting game? the aforementioned Arsenal - Swansea brawl match
Most boring game? Liverpool - United - 0-0 draw
Most surprising scoreline? Arsenal - Man Utd. 10 - 0. RVP triple hatrick and a last minute own goal from De Gea
How many times will Jamie Redknapp mention his bff Lampard? 2345
Most likely to throw a trophy under the bus? Szczeny for Arsenal. After blossoming into he most glorious keeper in the prem safe-hands Szczeny will drop what really matters, the trophy. We'll have the quadruple so no other team will even have a trophy under the bus opportunity.
How many goals will Fernando Torres score for Chelsea? Loads. He'll be the second highest scorer after RVP.
How many Twitter crusades will Joey Barton go on before the season is over? 32
Next player to join Twitter? Theo.
Most prolific tweeter of the season? RVP. Most of whic will be mourning the demise of FabPersie, as he looks on, enraged at the horror show which we know as Fabrique (Shakira will be dumped some time in early september)
Best show of abs this season? RVP
Worst haircut of the season? Giggs' dreadlocks following his midlife crisis sometime in April
Team with the most propensity to strip off? Arsenal (don't pretend you don't like it)
How many times will we debate the need for video technology? 1. Then SAF will have a word, and it will be in place by October.
How many dodgy fines will the FA hand out this season? 29.
Hero of the season? RVP, as he captain his club through a glorious season, his face gleaming with tears, joyous with pride as he lifts aloft the PL trophy. 'Haters gonna hate', he whispers gently under his breath before he is overcome with emotion in the haze of ecstatic gooners and an almighty bear hug from Vermaelen. Cesc watches from a small televison set at the Barca training ground. 'If only' he thinks with a sigh and a small smile, as Pique comes lumbering in, still furious about letting the la Liga title slip into the hands of Real Madrid.
Villain of the season? Suarez. He will incur the wrath of Scousers up and down the land after an incident which I haven't quite decided on yet.
Finish this sentence: "This season is gonna be ... "?
trololol
Top four teams? Arsenal, QPR, Chelsea, City
3 teams to be relegated? Utd, Liverpool, Stoke
Who will win the FA Cup? Arsenal
Who will win the Carling Cup? Arsenal
Player of the season? RVP
Flop of the season? Aguero
Surprise star of the season? Eboue
Breakthrough star of the season? Hector Bellerin, called up to the first team after catastrophic injury crisis at Arsenal. Xavi promptly insists Barca DNA is the cause, as he pleads with his Catalan brother to return to the bosom of the Greatest Club in the World. Hector-gate ensues.
First manager to be sacked? Kenny
Most interesting use of mind games? Wenger. Obvs.
Team with the most yellow cards? Arsenal
Team with the most red cards? Arsenal - mass sending off after an on field brawl with Swansea. We throw away 5 - 0 lead since every Arsenal player is thrown off the pitch. Except our emergency keeper: Pat Rice. He is not particularly effective.
Team who misses the most penalties? Arsenal
Team who gets the most Fergie extra time? Liverpool
Best commentator? One of the crazy Arab ones who get far, far too excited
Worst commentator? Ray Wilkins
Catchphrase of the season? 'mental strength' - Arsenal Wenger esq.
Biggest scandal? Pizza-gate mk.II - the jalapeno edition.
Biggest non-story? Everyone in the prem to City
Best celebration? Arsenal, when we win the quadruple and parade the streets of North London.
Most shocking transfer? Suarez to Chelsea
Giant killer of the season? Arsenal
Most interesting game? the aforementioned Arsenal - Swansea brawl match
Most boring game? Liverpool - United - 0-0 draw
Most surprising scoreline? Arsenal - Man Utd. 10 - 0. RVP triple hatrick and a last minute own goal from De Gea
How many times will Jamie Redknapp mention his bff Lampard? 2345
Most likely to throw a trophy under the bus? Szczeny for Arsenal. After blossoming into he most glorious keeper in the prem safe-hands Szczeny will drop what really matters, the trophy. We'll have the quadruple so no other team will even have a trophy under the bus opportunity.
How many goals will Fernando Torres score for Chelsea? Loads. He'll be the second highest scorer after RVP.
How many Twitter crusades will Joey Barton go on before the season is over? 32
Next player to join Twitter? Theo.
Most prolific tweeter of the season? RVP. Most of whic will be mourning the demise of FabPersie, as he looks on, enraged at the horror show which we know as Fabrique (Shakira will be dumped some time in early september)
Best show of abs this season? RVP
Worst haircut of the season? Giggs' dreadlocks following his midlife crisis sometime in April
Team with the most propensity to strip off? Arsenal (don't pretend you don't like it)
How many times will we debate the need for video technology? 1. Then SAF will have a word, and it will be in place by October.
How many dodgy fines will the FA hand out this season? 29.
Hero of the season? RVP, as he captain his club through a glorious season, his face gleaming with tears, joyous with pride as he lifts aloft the PL trophy. 'Haters gonna hate', he whispers gently under his breath before he is overcome with emotion in the haze of ecstatic gooners and an almighty bear hug from Vermaelen. Cesc watches from a small televison set at the Barca training ground. 'If only' he thinks with a sigh and a small smile, as Pique comes lumbering in, still furious about letting the la Liga title slip into the hands of Real Madrid.
Villain of the season? Suarez. He will incur the wrath of Scousers up and down the land after an incident which I haven't quite decided on yet.
Finish this sentence: "This season is gonna be ... "?
FUCKING AMAZING